Despairs Rain
by Iridum
Summary: In the beginning things weren't exactly perfect. In the middle things were hard. But looking towards the end, perfection seemed to be in sight. AspinKane
1. Prologue

**A/N: **Umm...hi? (sheepish grin) Yes... this is Nakiato/Animerle, and I have finally come up with a story worth putting poor Aspin and Kane into. I know this was promised a long time ago, and I made poor Zadien put up in her story that I was coming back with another Aspin/Kane fic... like a year ago. So please do forgive and continue on, I am sincerely sorry. (Hands out Kane shaped cookies) Shh! Don't let Aspin know!

**Disclaimer: **Umm... I don't own Kane, though I desperately want to because he's just so yummy. Oh... and I guess Zadien owns Amber doesn't she?

-------

叫ぶ肩

It was official, Aspin was officially terrified. It hadn't been that hard to tell in all actuality, Kane _had_ learned to pick up on some signs over the years. Her eyes weren't focused, flicking about the grainy screen as the dim lighting from one of the classroom windows lit them up, causing them to glow an almost eerie shade of emerald green.

"Spin..." he drawled as his hand searched out hers.

She flinched, causing him to cringe as he laced his fingers with her own slender ones, giving a gentle squeeze of reassurance.

"I...I..." her voice trailed off, barely moments before the sweet sound had ever left her lips.

"I know..."

He cursed himself inwardly for sounding so pathetic when he knew that right now she desperately needed his strength. It didn't matter to her if he was busy ranting, insulting, or just being plain obnoxious, but this tender and quiet boy that sat beside her, periwinkle eyes staring transfixed at the screen, made the situation that much more terrifying.

Suddenly she felt as if the whole world around her was collapsing. She barely registered the anguished cry that was released as she suddenly lurched forward in her chair, face coming to rest in two cupped hands as the magnitude of the situation seemed to break her.

Kane became instantly alert, tearing his gaze from the television screen, to rest on the trembling girl beside him. Hesitantly he reached out a hand, wanting so desperately to do anything to comfort her, but to afraid to touch her, for fear that he might break her more than he already had.

"Oh god... oh god..." she moaned.

Casting all previous apprehension aside, he did the only thing he knew, he reached out timidly and pulled her into the most gentle, yet possessive hug he could muster.

And thats just how Amber found them, rocking gently in such an intimate embrace. She would have had mind to turn around and march back out, grumbling about how the two teens were hogging up what had been the only available television, with DVD and VCR attached, that was available for students to sign out on weekends.

Yes, she would have had mind, had she not walked in on the heartbreaking scene of Aspin's low crying on a terrified Kane's shoulder. Looking up briefly at the television screen, she flicked back to the view of her friend sobbing, before instantly tearing her focus back to the television screen, as her overwhelmed mind noticed something a tad strange about the program that they were watching.

"Aspin... oh my god."

Aspin looked like she was going to faint, Amber felt like fainting for her, and Kane just looked more terrified than ever.

-------

端

**A/N:** Alright, strange start? Totally intentional. As you will see as this fic progresses, I do have a plot in mind, and future chapters will most defintely be much longer than this one.


	2. 新年、新しい寮

_Welcome to the long awaited chapter one! As mentioned before in the previous 'chapter', it was really a prologue, and so this is the official first chapter of Despairs Rain. Please enjoy, and pardon for my grammar and spelling mistakes. A beta is still being searched for, but for now I think I'm doing alright. My live journal will now be the place with all my 'in between' updates on expected chapter release dates, replies to reviewers, and anything else you may need to know. In a nutshell, any questions, concerns, or if you just want to know me on a more personal level, please refer there. There might also be some important stuff for you there, I'm not sure though so you'll just have to check it all out._

_Without further ado, enjoy!_

_PS. Amber is property of Zadien, I don't own Beyblade, or any of its Characters, and I love reviews._

_Fayeth_

* * *

**新年、新しい寮**

Shinnen - Atarashii ryou

_Two Years Past_

"_" Sayounara, " kanojo ha kanojo toshite nichibotsu ni shirizoi te iru kanojo ga kare no keitai o mi ta to doujini sotto shime ta kanojo ga kesshite kare ni mata awa nai koto o shitte iru doa o tsubuyai ta."_

Aspin whispered softly to herself as she shifted into a more comfortable position in the plush seat. It had been a long four hour bus ride, and thanks to the insensitive people sitting behind her, she had not been able to lean her seat back. The small boy sitting in front of her wasn't much better. He had begun whining only five minutes into the trip about how uncomfortable and bored he was. The result was his mother peeking over the headrest to her seat, giving a sickeningly sweet smile as she apologized in a fake sounding tone, and promptly cranked his chair back as far as it would go.

She glanced over towards her cousin who was thoroughly enjoying the latest issue of Cosmopolitan magazine, her nose practically was touching the page and she seemed completely immune to the discomforts of a long bus ride.

"You should really get glasses you know," Aspin muttered as she tried to return back to her book. It was thrilling, it really was Aspin thought as she rolled her eyes at the endless pages of kanji. _Thrilling._

Molly glanced up from her reading briefly and fixed her with an irritated glare to which Aspin merely raised an eyebrow.

"How can you stand to read all that _garakuta_?"

Aspin let out a long sigh, "Its not crap. It really isn't, I've been absolutely _captivated_ by this novel."

"Uh, yeah sure," _Molly_ flicked the page of the magazine. Her eyes immediately lit up as they travelled down the page, and a purely lecherous grin had plastered itself on her face.

"Now this is good reading!" She practically shoved the magazine into Aspin's face, "See here, this is the sort of stuff that little girls like you need to be looking at!"

"I'm only two years younger than you," Aspin ground out. Realizing that she wouldn't be freed from the offending mass of pages until her cousin had received a satisfactory response, she allowed her emerald eyes to scan the offered page.

_Oh my god._

Her face paled, and suddenly she wished that she hadn't looked.

"See, this is what I'm going to get myself this year!" Molly squealed, "He's obviously not wearing a towel, and although the page cuts off all the interesting bits, I'm positive that he's well endowed. _Ookii inkei_!"

_Please someone kill me now_.

Aspin couldn't help the burning that she felt manifesting itself into her cheeks. Molly cackled to herself insanely all the while chattering to herself about American's and hooking up. Aspin curled up as tightly as possible into her seat and transfixed herself with the last pages of her book again.

_Kami. Kono jousha ga sugu ni toaru you ni shi nasai. Please god, let this ride be over with soon._

* * *

_  
_

Aspin read over her timetable, a satisfactory smirk threatened to break out on her face, destroying her act of being unbelievably disappointed. Molly's fake blonde head poked its way in front of her vision as she yet again compared the two sheets that they were holding.

"This isn't fair," she pouted, "Don't they know I'm new to America? I need my cousin with me!"

Aspin groaned inwardly and nearly cursed out her mother for even suggesting that Aspin return to America from Japan for schooling, and that she take Molly with her. She nearly cringed as she gave a comforting pat on the shoulder which seemed to calm the older girl slightly.

"_Sore ha anata ga shitte iru sekai no hashita de nai_," she cooed.

"Who would have thought," and just when her day couldn't _possibly_ get any worse," Aspin, a _nihonjin_!"

She felt a heavy arm slip its way around her shoulders. She inwardly mused over how it felt more like a boa constrictor than an actual arm, as it dragged her back into a very warm and very solid body. As much as she disliked this, she couldn't help the fact that she did in fact enjoy it very much. The body she had found herself suddenly clutched against was all to warm, all to hard, all to male, and she herself was all to female.

" _Kangei sa re ta ie no kawaii hito,_" he breathed into her ear, his warm breath caressing it lightly.

_Kawaii_? She would have blushed, perhaps at the lean body that had currently contented itself with molding itself with her own, but he had called her _kawaii_.

She reacted immediately, flipping his arm off of her shoulders and grabbing her far too interested cousin off towards the female dormitory. She could hear him snicker behind her back as she retreated as fast as possible, ignoring Molly's pleas to stop.

"Who was that?!" Molly asked as Aspin dragged her around a corner to catch her breath. How the girl had managed to keep up with her while wearing the _two inch_ heels, and still had so much energy to bounce back with, was completely beyond her.

"That was Kane."

It was a vague explanation, but it served its purpose. Aspin nearly recoiled in horror as yet another lecherous grin found itself plastered on the older girls face.

"He's hot for you."

"Ugh," Aspin threw up her hands with a huff and turned in the hall to get her bearings, "It was just another one of his games."

"He a nihonjo too?"

Aspin began to retreat down the hall with an exasperated sigh. She could hear Molly trotting along behind her, a happy new bounce had found its way into her step.

"Well?"

"Yes he is nihonjin," Aspin finally hissed, "Though not one that you want to associate yourself with," she added as an afterthought.

"That's wish wash," Molly replied, "You two haven't seen each other for how many years? Didn't you tell me it was back in grade school?"

Aspin gave the expected confirming nod.

"Well, he is hot, do I have to spell it out for you?"

_Gods, please don't._

Aspin lead her cousin along in silence, praying that her new dorm mates would keep the older girl busy and out of her personal life. She hadn't really known Molly that long, and admittedly they had become very close, but Aspin was very personal. She knew that Molly only really sought adventure and excitement with her, but when it came to such personal things as her sex life, it was really the last straw.

She glanced over her shoulder, smiling slightly as she saw Molly skipping along behind her. Wide, chocolate eyes took in every detail of the halls they were passing through. It was the same way back at the airport.

Aspin had been depressed, but excited to be beginning her new life. Although she missed him dearly, after everything that had been going on in the past year, Aspin was glad that her mother had finally divorced her father. Sure it sounded like something traitorous to say, so be glad for the splitting of your own family, but after crying and spending countless hours reflecting over everything that had gone on, she needed a break.

Her mother was Japanese by birth, her father an american. Once the divorce had been finalized, Yumiko had vouched to return to her homeland and finally introduce Aspin to her extended family.

She could still remember in vivid detail, just how overpowering Japan had been, and how overpowering her homesickness had been as well. She had left behind all that she was familiar with, her language, her customs, and most of all, her friends.

For the first few months she had pined over how badly she needed to talk to Amber. Although she was a mere phone call away, it was never the same as talking face to face, everything seemed so much more mechanical and awkward. She felt as though she had lost the only person she had ever trusted enough to confide in, the only person who she felt would listen to, and understand what was really on her mind.

Molly had filled that gap, though it was a bit forced. Being that the two girls were the same age, their families encouraged them to spend more time together. The fact that the rest of her cousins were male didn't help the fact either. Molly had taught her the sights and sounds of Japan, had never laughed when Aspin got lost among the crowds in the busy Tokyo streets, and had always been patient as she fumbled around for the right words, in _Japanese._

It wasn't until August that she found out that she would be returning.

* * *

"_I've been speaking to your father," Yumiko began, "We've decided that it would be best if you completed your education in America."_

_Aspin glared at her from across the room, "What made you think that I'd ever want to return there. What makes you think I ever want to see him again?"_

_Yumiko gave her a stern look as she returned to her flower arranging. It was a new business that she had began, just a small shop, but enough to live off of, and she felt as though doing this she would always be at peace._

"_Except for these past two years, all of your schooling was in America."_

"_We gave up life in America," Aspin retorted, "I'm just finally getting settled in here, don't uproot me again…please."_

_Yumiko glanced over and saw the tears begin to well up in her daughters emerald eyes, a disturbing trait that she shared with her father. She felt as though whenever she saw those eyes she saw her ex-husband staring back at her. It was something that unnerved her to no end._

"_Your grades here aren't going to get you anywhere. The only reason why you haven't been failing is because they hate to fail our children."_

"_What makes you think that I would be better off over there?" Aspin spat out the words, her eyes practically sparking as she made eye contact._

"_I don't want to be around him, not after what he did to us!"_

_Yumiko slammed her palm to the floor, the loud smacking sound immediately bringing her daughter back to attention._

"_And what would you have me do?" She stood up and approached her daughter with slow and deliberate steps, "Would you have me see my daughter fail?!"_

_Aspin didn't reply, instead she opted for staring down at her hands which had occupied themselves with folding neatly into her lap._

"_You won't get anywhere. No university would accept you, how would you survive?"_

_Again there was no reply. Yumiko felt a sudden spasm of fury grip her and like a flash she held her daughters quivering chin in her hand. She squeezed tightly, secretly enjoying how the green eyes that mocked her in her sleep stared up at her with shock, and with fear._

"_Your american."_

* * *

_  
_

Aspin barely registered that she had come to a stop in front of a large wooden door. She shook her head slightly and paused to tuck a few strands of plum coloured hair behind her ears. She turned to Molly who was staring at her with an expectant look.

"Well, this is it," Aspin announced. She had tried to sound happy, but her voice had come out as a half-hearted whisper. Molly nodded and glanced down at the piece of paper that she had clutched tightly in her hands.

"Oh, I guess you need this," Aspin glanced down briefly before handing over the crisp white sheet, "Your floor mates most likely have been here before, so if you can't find your way around I'm sure they'll be helpful."

"Hey Spin," Molly began, but Aspin didn't want to hear it, "Don't worry about what obasan said to you before we left."

Aspin turned, giving the floor a cold glare in the process, " I wrote my room number on the back."

Aspin let out a contented sigh as she allowed her body to crumble back onto what was officially her bed for the year. One of the perks to having a flight from another country was that she was able to arrive earlier than most students, and in her case, earlier then all of her roommates.

It was with great satisfaction that she claimed the number one bunk in the entire room, a top bunk that coincidentally happened to be beside the only window in the room. She had happily organized her clothing, and hung it up neatly in her small cubby which was to be called a closet. She had also managed to invent a small platform that sat beside the window, which wasn't much more than a 1 foot by 6 foot slit located close to the ceiling. On this platform she placed a small photo of her mother, and a single stalk of bamboo.

She heaved in a deep breath of air, releasing it slowly. Her body now ached from the tiring tasks of setting up her room, but she knew that dinner would be soon, and she definitely wanted to finish up her wiping down of all the surfaces before then. Why she bothered with trying to be neat and clean, she didn't know. She knew for a fact exactly who all of her roommates were, friends from her childhood, and with that came the knowledge that this room would be torn to shreds before the week was up.

She lazily pulled herself from her bed and climbed down to the floor. She had only just started wiping down one of the desks that was located in the spacious room, when she felt another presence. She turned around, only to be met with the sight of periwinkle eyes, illuminated in the dimming sunset that cut across the room from the single window.

"Kane?"

"Nice shack," he greeted, glancing around the living quarters.

Aspin woke up from her confusion and stood up from her hunched position, tossing the rag aside. She smoothed out the pleats to her skirt and fixed him with an annoyed stare.

"What?"

"The door was open," he replied with a casual shrug.

"You shouldn't just walk into people's dorms, someone could be naked or something," Aspin said before stifling a yawn.

Knowing that he wasn't going to leave anytime soon, and that she was not strong enough to physically force him to leave, she decided that she might as well get comfortable as she leaned back onto the desk. Kane watched as she suddenly thrust her hands into the air and arched her back, giving him an eyeful of a sliver of a taught stomach as she did so.

"I'd think people were more self respecting than to change with their doors wide open," he mumbled, tearing his eyes away from the sight of her stretching body.

"Guys are weird, and this is a co-ed floor. I wouldn't be surprised if somebody decided to stand in their room naked with the door wide open, probably hoping a girl will walk by and like what she sees," Aspin smirked slightly, "Or you know, I guess a guy might do too, right?"

Kane narrowed his eyes and glared, she could practically see his annoyance rising. When all else failed, she decided she would drive him out with her words.

"Only you seem to have a problem with homosexuality."

"Is that a confession?"

"I'm just pointing something out."

"Don't waste my time."

"Come with me for dinner."

"Your buying."

It had come out so quickly that she hadn't even registered what she had said until she noticed the victorious smirk that had plastered itself to his handsome features. She could feel her face flush as he gently tugged on her wrist, coaxing her into following him out into the hall.

"I-I didn't mean that."

"Only girls act this complicated," he muttered under his breath, "I wasn't planning on really going anywhere, just down to the cafeteria."

"I look like crap, my hair isn't even done."

"Are you taking this as a real date?"

His question stumped her. Was this really just another game to him? A strange coldness manifested itself into the confines of her chest.

_Its just another mind game_. Yet she had been foolish enough to fall into it. She silently cursed herself for falling into his trap. She could practically see the tally in his head switch numbers to read 2-0. She was violently ripped from her inner sulking when she slammed into his back.

"Only you could hold grudges for so long _chou_, I personally like to believe that some of us have grown up just a little."

His words struck her deep. Was that all she was, a pathetic little girl who couldn't let go of the grudge that she had held since childhood. She was sixteen, sixteen and still hating him over a mindless prank that nobody probably remembered in the first place.

"Are you coming?"

She gazed down at him, he had moved to the bottom of a stairwell that she currently stood at the top of. She took in all his features, his blue eyes, tousled hair, tall and lean frame, and for the first time she realized that he wasn't the boy she had socked two years ago before she boarded a plane headed for Tokyo. Kane had somehow managed to grow up, and she silently conceded that so had she.

* * *

She didn't really remember falling asleep, but she must be asleep because somebody was currently poking at her side and trying to coax her back to life. She rolled over onto her side and cracked open an eye. A pair of amber orbs stared back at her, and suddenly she was fully awake.

"Amber!"

She felt like crying, screaming and dancing all at once. She practically launched herself at her friend, but quickly pulled her onto the bed instead as they nearly took a tumble.

"Do you sleep long enough? You must have some serious jetlag, you slept through breakfast… and lunch."

Aspin blinked tiredly. Yesterday the trip hadn't seemed to have worn her down too much, but now as another wave of sleep tried to pull her under, she realized that it had finally caught up with her.

"How was Kane?"

"Pardon?" Aspin blinked slowly, had she just heard her friend right?

Amber huffed, "Like you don't know what I'm talking about. I know its embarrassing to go out with him, but everybody already knows." 

Aspin blinked a few more times as she tried to absorb the new information that she had just been forced to take in, and then she remembered. She had gone out to dinner with Kane, it wasn't exactly anything special, just fries from the cafeteria really. He had asked her about Japan, and in return she had asked him about her friends.

They had sat there together for hours before the tiredness really crept up on Aspin and she found herself yawning and rubbing at her eyes.

"What did he say?"

"He said he scored."

Amber quickly ducked to the side as Aspin launched herself out of the bunk. She nearly tore the door off its frame as she stomped out into the hallway. For a few moments, all was eerily quite as she stalked her prey, and then it was all shattered.

"Kane!! BAKA!!"

_3-0_

* * *

_Don't forget to review!_

_For those seeking information on the several Japanese words found in this chapter, please refer to my livejournal._


	3. 別の時間では、別の場所

_Welcome to the third installment! I apologize for the slight delay. Those who read over my livejournal know that this was meant to be up last night, but I ended up having some last minute cramming for an exam, as well as every season finale on tv just happened to be on. This chapter gets really weird and dark at the end, but please bear through it and maybe gain some more insight as to who Aspin and Kane are as people, and just what sort of relationship they do have._

_The disclaimer is the usual. Amber belongs to Zadien, and I do not own any rights to Beyblade._

_Fayeth_

* * *

**別の時間では、別の場所**

Betsu no jikan de ha, betsu no basho

_Two Years Ago_

Aspin sighed as she shifted uncomfortably on the cafeteria bench. It was another typical day at school, if the fact that Aspin was dead tired and undeniably busy. Now she almost regretted trying to be so involved at the academy, but she kept reassuring herself that it would all pay off in the long run.

She let out a small smile as she crossed off yet another thing on her "To-Do" list, and decidedly inserted another. It was a technique that she had learned from a book she had to read and do a report on for English, _Psychology and the True Human Mind_. Albeit, at first she had been reluctant to have to read and report on a non-fiction book that was chosen from a predetermined list. It was truly her luck that she had been able to choose early on, and she chose the first thing that had caught her attention.

Kane, being the _baka_ that he was, had made fun of her the entire way up to their dorms. He had chosen some lame book about aliens as she could recall. Like a typical male he had chosen the first book he saw that screamed possible science-fiction with its bold silver title and holographic jacket, a true _baka_ indeed.

She had easily completed the first paragraph of the report, which was to consist of an explanation as to what about the book had caused her to choose it. She said that it was because she was considering choosing a career that had a more social focus and, that the best way to understand society was to understand the human mind first. It was the truth, but only a partial truth. The entire truth was that Kane had confused the heck out of her after that first day back at the academy.

* * *

"_Kane!! BAKA!!"_

_Aspin's anguished cry could be heard all throughout the senior level dorm that morning._

_A few grumbling occupants stumbled out into the hallways to figure out the source of such commotion._

_Knowing that the door to his dorm would be unlocked, due to the fact that Enrique claimed to have troubles unlocking doors at night when he was in a hurry to use the washroom. The rest of the student population chose to believe that he left his door open so as not to shut out any girls who would potentially loose their way in the darkened halls and wander into his dorm._

_The chances of that happening were slim to none._

_She barged into his room, startling a bunch of its male occupants to say the least. Stunned half naked males stood in various positions throughout the spacious room, their eyes fixed on the fuming guest. Under normal circumstances, she might blush while secretly oogling the boys, because she was purely female, but today she stared at one particular boxer-clad male who in return gulped._

"_Woah… hey Aspin," Enrique began, reaching out a timid hand to lay on her shoulder, only to have it slapped away._

"_You," she ground out, pointing an accusing finger at Kane, who decided that perhaps backing up just a few feet would be best._

_Her eyes sent pure daggers in his direction, rather than lust and pure adoration over the sheer amount of skin that he was displaying. Enrique on the other hand took to sulking beside Kai, who grumbled over being barged in on, and admiring what he would later dub in his photographic memory as "Aspin, in PJs. Cute ones at that!"._

"_Seikou no baka! Ka. Shi ta nani o ka_**_n_**_gae o mono ha nani demo yuusuru! Ka. Kiroku shi ta! Ka_**_n_**_gae tara watashi to no kiroku ha iumademonaku dare demo to shikashi I yori orokamono no aru sono anata no ooku o saisho ni kiroku shi te mo yoi! Enrique niyori yoi cha_**_n_**_su ga aru!"_

_Aspin was fuming. Kane merely gaped as he desperately tried to decipher her rapid Japanese, and the other male occupants stared in awe, especially Enrique who upon hearing his name, perked up slightly._

"_Enrique toka. seikou suru!" Kane shouted back at her in disbelief as he sent the boy a pointed glare._

"_Don't try and change the subject!"_

"_The hell is your problem?!"_

"_Anata no mo_**_n_**_dai no baka! You scored?!"_

_Kane looked sheepish, "Yeah… about that."_

"_Don't you 'about that' me!" she screamed at him as she approached._

_She seized him by the shoulders and proceeded to forcefully shake him, which was quite amusing since Kane was noticeably taller than her, as they continued with their little spat._

_They didn't notice when the rest of the boys dressed into their uniforms and proceeded to breakfast, but later on Aspin realized that she was grateful that they did, and that nobody lingered around the living quarters to snicker at the fight._

_Mere moments after they had all left, Kane swooped down and claimed her lips as his own._

* * *

Aspin gathered up her things and packed them neatly into her shoulder bag. She knew that she had a lot of work to be done, but she was tired of forcing herself through it only to later feel that she hadn't submitted her best effort. It was also due to the fact that she wanted to at least grab a small snack before she went off to meet Kane.

Why Kane? She still couldn't quite answer the question for herself. She had agreed to help him by reading over the final draft of his report, after nearly two weeks of him following her around like a dog and romancing her at every opportunity.

She had settled for the answer that it was because she wished to pursue a career in a social field. She knew that the best preparation that she could possibly get when it came to difficult situations with difficult people was to try and work with one of the most difficult people in her life currently.

She was just about to walk through the stone archway to get into the cafeteria when a blue blur appear promptly in front of her vision. She jumped back in response, eyes opening comically and let out a shrill yelp of surprise.

"What's with you?" Kane asked, fixing her with an owlish stare.

"N-nothing baka," she replied as she tried to regain her composure. She knew that her face must be beat red by now, and just to avoid looking at him, she bent over to fawn over her skirt.

"Yeah… ok," Kane drawled out, "Where do you think you were going anyways?"

"I was going to eat stupid, what else do you do in a cafeteria," she stood straight and proceeded to push past him, "I've still got ten minutes before I'm supposed to be meeting you, don't get your boxers in a knot."

Kane followed her, a seemingly thoughtful look plastered to his face. A look that was mentally disturbing but infinitely sexy Aspin decided. _And I never want to see it again damnit!_ She walked over to a display of baked goods, trying her best to ignore the whispers and glares that she was receiving from various locations scattered in the spacious expanse.

Yet another reason why she didn't want to be seen with Kane right now, her little spat with him that while back had earned her a lot of unwanted attention. For the entire morning she was plagued by seniors groaning over the lack of sleep they had received, which was a load because they should have already been proceeding down for breakfast.

Of course, the junior members of the student body heard about all of this, and they came up to their own conclusions. For what seemed like ages there was gossip about her plaguing every hallway it seemed, for a day it was amusing, but as weeks drawled on, it was just plain annoying.

Eventually a consensus was decided. It was a lovers spat, and upon hearing that Aspin felt like fainting dead away.

Since then she noticed that whenever she was seen anywhere near Kane, the female population, as well as some males which bothered her, would send her the most evil faces they could think up, and she would hear some rather rude whispers to say the least. Following that, there were hate letters that would magically appear in her room. Amber and the other occupants were nice enough to dispose of the majority of them for her, but there were always times when they simply weren't fast enough.

"I thought I told you that we aren't to be seen together," she muttered in a low voice.

Kane perked up upon being spoken to, "I don't see what the problem is. Here, let me buy that."

He grabbed the muffin she had chosen and placed it in front of the cashier, who glared at Aspin and fixed Kane with a dreamy gaze. He fished about in his wallet.

"Sorera o hanasu koto o mo kii ta koto o watashi to, watashi shitte iru furi o shi te ha ike nai."

Kane tossed the muffin over his shoulder to her, ignoring the cashier who had just started opening her mouth as if to say something to him. He turned and began walking out of the cafeteria, unfortunately leaving Aspin with a fuming cashier who promptly dragged her finger across her throat. She quickly jogged to catch up with him; the female population was officially insane.

* * *

She was sitting on the floor, rather uncomfortably she should add. She would have accepted the invitation to join him on his bed, had Kane not had a lecherous grin plastered over his face while he said it. She sighed as she flipped through the pages of the report, staring at it blankly.

"And your opinion would be?"

She gave him a glare from the corner of her eye, watching him as he partially leaned over her shoulder to watch her as she read through his work.

"Its… perfect," she muttered, trying hard not to let the disbelief slide into her voice.

It had come as quite a shock to her. She had half expected his report to be only half complete when she finally agreed to his request. Never had she imagined that it would be a decent length, intelligent, well flowing, and free from any errors in grammar or spelling that she could pick out.

"You didn't get this off the internet did you?" She almost wished he would reply with a yes, just so that she could label him as the school idiot once again.

She heard him grunt from behind her, "It you want I'll write yours too."

"I like to do my own work thanks," she rolled her eyes at him. He seemed to be gloating over the fact that he was so – smart. Once again she prayed that he was in a dream.

"Maybe I'm the same way as you," she finally looked at him, emerald eyes conveying her confusion. "I like to do my own work. Why does that seem so unbelievable to you?"

Time seemed to slow for Aspin as she prepared herself for the oncoming onslaught of emotions and insults that were about to be thrown. This was just the way things were between them, and she was finally starting to see just how _bad_ things really were between them.

It was natural for them to argue, or so she had once believed, they had been doing it since elementary school after all. Deep down she knew it was her own insecurities that allowed her to be this way. Kane never ceased to astonish her with his talents, and with his somewhat contagious personality. He was funny, he was loyal, he was active, and now she knew that he was hard working, albeit of course he could get to be a bit annoying. Everybody else seemed to have a decent relationship with him, so why couldn't she?

"It's unbelievable because it's never happened before, that's why," she answered, watching as his eyes reflected hurt before steeling themselves.

"Only you seem to have these problems," she could hear his voice lowering, hear the hurt and anger in his voice.

It thrilled her, made her chest swell in pride in knowing that his man had been brought down by nothing more than her words. She could practically visualize the insults and retaliations that were building up in her head. She would insult him, and he would retaliate, she would feign hurt, unleash her inner rage, and she would strike. She would strike until she could strike no more, and even then she would continue, continuing on until he would crumble beneath her words, and then she would leave.

And it was then that she finally realized. It dawned upon her, and it felt like a cold slap across a cheek. She was a _sadist_, she reveled in causing others pain, unleashing cruelty.

It had happened before, so why had she never known?

It had happened when she found out about her fathers cheating. She had accidentally let the accusation slide, revealing to both of her parents that she had been spying on him, had seen him in the act with _her_. Was she secretly trying to hurt them both?

She had lied about feeling ill, had spent endless hours crying over the loss of her family to her mother, never considering how her mother was feeling. When they had finally left for Tokyo, she began to stay out later, speaking rarely to her mother who so dearly needed her support right then. Was she punishing her?

And now, she was punishing Kane. Punishing him so that she could feel better about herself, so that she could bathe herself in the euphoria that always seemed to come after she shot him to the ground.

"Aspin?"

She barely registered the shaking that he was giving her, but she focused so clearly on his eyes, on they way they held her own. She could see her own reflection in the blue depths, noted how the shade of his eyes darkened towards the center. She saw concern masking his previous anger as he tried to search her out, and she felt her dark desires take over, clouding her very judgement.

"I'm a sadist," Kane heard her whisper.

It had been so quiet that it had nearly been blown away by their breaths as the mingled.

"A… sadist?" He asked, furrowing his brow.

She nodded and Kane suddenly felt the incredible urge to back away, to send her way from his room. She was getting closer, pink lips parting, green eyes staring. She made contact, soft lips' pressing firmly against his own was all he could feel.

Instinctively he tried to push her away, this wasn't what he had asked for, but he found himself unable to respond to his own will as he pulled her closer against him. He pressed harder into her, greedily devouring the offered mouth, plunging himself in and becoming lost in the intense heat. He finally pulled away, nipping lightly at her bottom lip before breaking all contact.

"I… I want to hurt you," her voice quivered, her green eyes looked almost fearful.

He was falling into her trap, this cruel trap that she had laid out for him. She wanted him to hurt for ruining the image she had made of him in her mind. She wanted him to hurt for the tensions she was feeling at school now. She wanted him to hurt for causing her so much confusion, for showing her such tenderness that she didn't want, for kissing her all those mornings ago.

Kane narrowed his eyes, he knew that she didn't want this. Aspin seemed to have lost her mind right then and there, but she had never really been herself since she had found her father. She had been bitter, angry, and overachiever seeking perfection from herself that she hadn't been able to find in her family. She was emotional and disturbed, to locked in the past.

She was approaching him again but he found he couldn't stop himself. He grabbed at her, inviting her, spilling them onto his bed. He pressed a knee between her legs as she whimpered beneath him, begging him to kiss her.

"I won't," he said sternly.

She hesitated then, regarding him as she considered what he had just said to her.

"Why not?"

"I want to help Spin… we can't do this."

"It's my decision."

"I'm not going to hurt you."

"I want to hurt _you_."

"There's something wrong."

"I know."

Tears pooled in her eyes, causing them to shimmer in the afternoon light. Kane sighed and moved off her, pulling her up to sit beside him.

"How long, have you been having these issues?"

"You know how long," she smirked sadly. Leave it to Kane to go psychiatrist on her.

"So why involve me?"

"Are you angry?" She waited for his response before continuing, "We have so much in common. Each day I see more similarities, and we've known each other so long."

"So you want to liberate yourself?"

She nodded solemnly. She knew what the problem was, and she knew that he knew as well. He was just too smart to not be able to tell that she wanted him gone because he was too close. Her father had been one of the closest people in her life, but his betrayal had shattered her. Kane had filled a void that had been created in her heart by being the next closest male in her life, but he was too close and it scared her. She wanted to hurt him before he could hurt her.

"Avoidance…" she heard him mutter beneath his breath, "if we avoid each other, will it be better?"

She bit her tongue, was this really what she wanted? She hated to admit it, but Kane was important to her, more important to her than anybody knew. She liked him, and she promised herself that she wouldn't ever say it, but she loved him, and she was firmly keeping herself in denial. She knew the feeling was mutual, they had made out in the airport right before she left after all.

"Do you think that we should?"

"If it helps you then yes," was his reply.

"Alright." She stood up and silently gathered her supplies.

She was careful to keep her back turned to him for fear that he would notice her tears. She didn't know why she was so emotional. Other than their single make out session right before she left for two years, they hadn't ever had any sort of romantic or sexual relationship. They had never dated, never really hung out, and up until this school year, never ever kissed on any other occasion. Here she was, crying like a little girl who had just lost her most precious doll.

She walked out into the hall, keeping a still posture all the while, and never once looking back. Not until he called her, "Aspin…"

She turned back to him, avoiding all eye contact.

"A…ashiteru," and she looked up and smiled, "Betsu no jikan de ha, betsu no basho, watashi tachi ha issho ni aru, watashi ha yakusoku, suru."

She nodded and quickly turned away, heading back to her respective dorm. For a moment she had felt lost, but now with his words ringing in her ears, she already felt better. He didn't hate her, he didn't resent her, he didn't label her as a freak. He maintained hope and strength when he knew that she couldn't, and helped to firm her resolve and give her what she needed to fight back against her own insecurites.

_In another time, another place, we'll be together, I promise._

She couldn't help the giddy feeling that was settling in her stomach.

_I love you too Kane_.

* * *

_Don't forget to review!_

_Review replies and translations are up on my livejournal._


	4. Sayonara

_My Dear Readers,_

It is with a heavy heart that I inform you of my decision to stop continuation of this fic. At this point in time I have become to pre-occupied with other things in life, and have found myself reading and writing less and less. As much as I love Aspin and Kane, and I am sure that you all do as well, I feel that I simply cannot continue on with this story. The last chapter was disappointing for myself, and although I attempted to re-write and continue, I found myself finding other things to do. If anybody wants to know where to find me online, my home is I also frequent the MMORPG MapleStory. For those who play, or are considering playing (which I urge you all to do), my screen name is Lunairu and I play on the Bellocan server. As for the livejournal and my bebo account, it is obvious that both of those have been abandoned. The website is now your portal to me, and even so I isn't overly active right now. In the future I plan to hold another livejournal account, but that hasn't happened as of yet.

So, after that last part I bet I have you wondering if I am still going to be a part of Truth be told, most likely not. I have no desire to write fanfiction anymore, and I read it less and less each month. I really only came on for a few select fics, and the one that kept me most active has long since ended. I am considering trying out fictionpress, I would so much rather write an original story and develop all my own characters and setting, rather than doing a carbon copy of somebody else's work. I would also like to improve my visual art, and so maybe I will have a place for that, someday.

In the meantime, I won't be around much if at all. Unfortunately I bet a whole bunch of you are wondering what is going on with Aspin and Kane. The story hasn't been finished, nobody knows what was intended for them. I did have the entire story planned out in my head, I just have no desire to translate that into a multi-chapter fic. For all of those who are interested in finding out just how the story ends, you may email me.

BYE 今のところ。あなたの努力の読書そしてよい運をありがとう。

_Bye for now. Thank you for reading and good luck with your endeavours._

Fayeth.


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